


Hearts in the wrong place

by thesinaccount



Category: HITMAN (2016), Hitman (Video Games)
Genre: "What are feelings?", 47 is about 28, 47 is literally clueless about all of this, Awkward Kissing, Bisexual Male Character, Diana is the only intelligent human in this, Do they fuck later?, Does 47 even go, First Crush, Hey dont go about kissing ur boss, Im back to rare pair, M/M, Past, Rare Pairings, Set in the Past, Soders being bi is kinda relevant, Soders is 45, The title isnt sad its a situs invertus joke, Up to you fam, Yes i will leave this account dead for the next year most likely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 23:18:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12714825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesinaccount/pseuds/thesinaccount
Summary: 47 had never had feelings for people before, at least not strong ones. So when the first develop it's a shock to him.





	Hearts in the wrong place

47 was not the type of person to become particularly attached to anyone, he had never felt any romantic or sexual attraction in all the twenty-eight the years he had been alive. It had never crossed his mind, he had no time for such a thing, he was busy. And now training with the ICA was taking up most of his life now, it was time consuming and very draining, so he did not want to engage with anyone that wasn't necessary. Only a few people fit such a category: Diana and a couple of higher-ups, Carlton Smith on occasion - much to 47's distaste. But besides that 47 didn't have very much time for people, especially being attracted to them. 

That was until Erich Soders began to pay him more heed than before. 

It was small things at first, engaging him in conversation when they met in a hallway, quirking up his pale lips in a friendly manner sometimes, he even offered 47 a coffee upon encountering him and Diana in the cafeteria. The hitman had refused, thinking nothing of the strange tightening in his chest when the older man smiled and shrugged nonchalantly. And ignoring it when his gut seemed to twist up when Soders pet his shoulder before waltzing away. Diana didn't however.

She picked up on it immediately. As soon as Soders next appeared to talk with them. As they were standing outside, staring at the snowy landscape that sprawled out before the helicopter pad. Neither of them had noticed the man until he slipped between them, following their gazes. He and Diana had quickly picked up small talk, something about a new agent being trouble, nothing really of much intrigue. Soders turned to glance at 47, asking his opinion - odd for a man like Soders - and at the words 47 felt his ears burn a slight.

He had proceed to swallow and shrug awkwardly, muttering something blunt about the subject, Soders hummed then exhaled loudly, and 47 could feel the warmth of his breath. His presence seemed to cause the heat to spread to 47's cheeks. He had kept his eyes firmly fixed on the ground away from the other man. 

After a moment or so Soders had twisted away, his great coat flapping behind him like some type of extravagant cape. Diana was left blinking at 47, with an expression he couldn't quite recognise.

“Do you like Erich, 47?” She had soon brought up the subject during lunch, interested. 

“What do you mean?” The hitman didn't look up, only continuing to poke at his food with a fork and an uncomfortable look on his features.

“Well. This morning, when he came to talk to us, you look a bit…odd is all.” She was smiling very subtly, but 47 caught it. “You usually don't turn the same colour as your tie when I talk to you.” He squinted.

“I don't understand.”

“I'm just asking if you.. like Soders.” She tipped her head.

“He's fine. I suppose.” As he spoke 47 felt the same odd feeling writhe about in is chest, Soders was more than ‘fine’ in his books. And the more he thought, the more it became obvious. He was interested in the man, more than anyone else before. 

“So you don't have a crush on him?” The woman leant back.

“A what?”

“Romantic or sexual interest in him.”

“Oh.” He fell silent. Was that what he felt? “I never had a crush,” the word sounded weird coming from him, “before.”

“No?” A grin. “Explain what you feel and I'll guess if that's what it is.”

“It's difficult to.” As he spoke, 47 thought. Soders was highly intelligent and despite retiring early he still looked pleasant - his hair barely flecked with grey, no imperfections on his skin and intense green-blue eyes. 47 had never shrunk away from eye contact, but he had always avoided Soders’ in fear of freezing up. His voice and presence practically swamped 47 whenever he was close, making him turn red and feel rather exposed. “He's..” A pause, “smart, I suppose. Attractive? Interesting?” His words sounded feeble. Diana seemed to glow.

“You do. Wow. First crush at twenty-eight, that's something.” There was no malice in her tone, only jest.

“When was yours?” 47 was confused. 

“I don't know… ten perhaps, some other boy in my class at primary school.” She shrugged, he blinked twice. Unsure. 

“So what do you do about it?”

“Usually just wait for it to blow over,” 47 exhaled, “though some people say and then end up in a relationship or having sex. That type of thing.”

“Should I wait then?”

“I mean, sure. It's not recommended to have relationships within the ICA, and Soders was married to a woman for ten years. So I wouldn't know if he had an interest in men.” She shrugged again. “But that's my advice. I would recommend listening, but it's not compulsory.” She smiled. And went back to eating.

47 stayed red for the next hour. 

It was only when the feeling wouldn't go away after the next couple of weeks when he decided to do something about it. Maybe if he told Soders, was rejected and ignored again then the “crush” would stop. And he could go back to focusing on training and prepping for his missions.

It took a while to find Soders alone, the man only seemed to encounter him when Diana or some other agent was around and 47 was not about to confess in front of them. When he finally did, it was outside, in the biting cold and snow, waiting for a helicopter. He was wearing the dark navy great coat, his fingers were gloved, 47 could see the man's breath.

47 slunk towards the man, swallowing back any desire to turn about and forget all about it.

“Good afternoon.” He spoke, pleased at the evenness in his voice. Soders turned and smiled, his chest clenched again. Shit. 

“Hello 47. How are you?” He gestured for the younger man to join him.

“Fine, thank you.” It was blunt, Soders nodded, still watching him. “But I was wishing to discuss something with you.”

“Oh?” A quirked brow, as 47 stepped beside him. “Do tell.” The man turned, and 47 was reminded that Soders was one of the few people he knew that was taller than him. 6’4” to his 6’1” to be exact.

“It's not entirely professional, but I suppose I'd need to tell you sooner rather than later.”

“Okay..” He made sure not to look at the other man's eyes. No way did he want to see the expression on his face after he told him this.

“I think I have developed feelings for you, sir..” Silence. 47 swallowed, ready to dart away quickly.

“Pardon?” Soders did not sound upset or disgusted, but merely confused.

“I have..” He stopped. “I'm sorry, I can't repeat that.” His throat was growing tight and he knew his face was beat red. “It's hard to-” He took a breath in, “hard to explain. And.” Another sharp inhale, “I've never had feelings such as those-” exhale, “-those before. And so-”

“Hush.” There was no harshness to the word. “Look at me.” 47 couldn't, he kept his eyes cast down, not ready to make any type of eye contact. Fingers slipped easily under his chin and guided it up. Much to his disappointment 47 found himself meeting the other man's gaze. It was inspecting, not cruel. He looked away, fingers curling up in his pockets. “Oh my,.. You really have.” A rumbling laugh escaped the older man. “I must say, it's flattering mister 47.” Soders tipped his head.

“Should I go?”

The older man squinted.

“Why on Earth would you?” He was smiling, leaning closer. Oh Christ. 47 could see every part of his features this close: the small strands of silver beginning to weave into his dark hair, his sharp eyes and pointed face, small dimples on the cheeks, the starts of crows’ feet by his eyes. His took in a shaky breath. 

“I. I thought-” 47 finally managed to hold Soders’ stare, “you wouldn't. Feel similar-”

“Well you seemed to have thought wrong, hm?” The man leaned in, nose ghosting 47's. His fingers shifted from the shorter man's chin, cradling his jaw instead. “I can imagine very few that would reject a person such as you.”

“You were married for years.” 47 forced out, his voice was growing more and more pathetic. “To a woman.”

“I was, yes.” A chuckle, “But mister 47, that does not limit who I am attracted to now. And currently,” his previously free hand curled about the hitman’s waist, tugging him in - flush to his chest, “I am attracted to you.” 47 shifted, uncertain, the feelings were only heightening now, his whole frame was tense and frozen.

“But-”

“Shh.” 47 was about to protest against but Soders had already dipped his head down and pressed his lips to 47's. The hand on his waist tightened, fingers on his jaw guiding him into the affectionate act. He made a feeble little whine and Soders hummed, moving his lips a slight. Awkwardly 47 copied, it felt strange and he didn't know what he was doing. He tipped his head, following Soders, it began to feel less clunky - the older man pulled him as close as he could, thumb stroking over the hitman’s jaw. In order to remain balanced 47 wound his arms behind Soders’ neck, receiving a pleased noise as he did. The kiss was still too awkward and messy to be considered romantic by any stretch of the word and after a few more moments Soders drew back, smiling. “See?”

“I've never kissed someone before.” The words had come out completely of their own volition, 47 had no control over them. He turned redder, if that was possible. Soders seemed to grin, as though the information pleased him. 

“I can tell.” A chuckle. “Try again. Let me lead.. I suppose.” 47 wasn't a fan of being led by another person when it came to most things, he assumed intimacy would be similar. Though before he could question it Soders had lowered his head again, kissing harder than before, his lips pressing roughly against 47's. The hitman could feel a scar on the man's upper lip when he tipped his head, an odd indent in the plush skin there. And just as he felt he was getting used to the sensation Soders opened his mouth slightly, running his tongue over 47's lips, clearly imploring him to do the same. The hitman awkwardly complied and he could feel the other man's smirk. The kiss was still rather messy; too much teeth and tongue, but it wasn't unpleasant. 

Weird. Not bad.

This time 47 pulled back, breathing loudly through his nose. Soders scent seemed to be clinging to everything now - though it may have been because he was practically hanging onto the man. It was a mix of obviously expensive cologne, spices that 47 couldn't name, coffee and … Soders. Just a strange smell that belonged to the man, it was nice. He moved his fingers, stretching them out behind the man's head, they were far too cold but he could tolerate them for longer.

“I.” He shut his mouth, not sure on what he was going to say. He hadn't planned this. 

“You?”

“I don't know, I wasn't planning on this being what happened.’ 

“I can see,” Soders clicked his tongue, smiling. “I figure we'll have to pick this up later, you're going to freeze out here and I have to wait for recruits.” 47 nodded awkwardly, Soders rubbed his hand up and down 47's back, almost comforting. “I promise we can continue this evening, warm you up. Just come down to my office. It has a lock and blinds, the chair is comfy enough.” The hitman looked confused for a moment, then blinked.

Oh. “Okay.”

Soders flashed his teeth, leaning down to peck a quick kiss to 47's lips. But after a second of thought he leant down and brushed his lips on 47's neck. The man tensed, the vulnerable spot was not a place he would usually let people near. Soders made a long “shushing” sound, soothingly rubbing his hand over 47's back, letting it slip lower as he nibbled the skin gently. The hitman made a confused noise as the older man sucked the skin, lapping it softly with his tongue. Biting occasionally, but not hard enough to truly hurt. His other hand dropped to 47's back, then moved to grasp at his backside. Lightly squeezing, kneading the flesh with his slim fingers. 47 whined, twisting under the touches in a slightly flustered manner. It felt good, and the hitman didn't know what do. Soders pressed a final kiss to the spot with an air of confidence, looking proud with himself, then drew back.

“There. Mine.” He tugged off his gloves, unwrapping 47's arms from his neck, pulling the warm woolen gloves over the hitman’s hands. “Here, I don't want the predicted best hitman of this generation to lose his fingers to frostbite” He unravelled his crimson scarf and wound it about 47's neck. “I'd keep that on too. Unless you want people to see the state of your neck.” The hitman wrinkled his nose and Soders snorted. “That's a no then.” He stepped back, turning in the direction of the helicopter pad. “I'll see you later, mister 47.”

47 was not quite sure how to respond so he let out a soft “yes” before walking away. Uncertain as before.

**Author's Note:**

> Ya boy is now going to disappear for years. Goondbye


End file.
